"I won't have it," Erickson growled around the stub of a cigar. "We're being scooped on this GPL3 business by everybody from Apress to Zdnet." When he shot me a certain look from under his green eyeshade, I knew what was coming next. "I think it's time," he said, "for another chat with your little friend."
I groaned. "Boss, he's not really my—"
"Yeah, yeah, nobody can stand the blasted bird. But you seem to be the only person on the planet who can get an interview with him." He took a swig of whatever he puts in that Kansas State Fair mug of his and waved me toward the door. "Git. Invite him to that bar where you hang out, take him to a hockey game, whatever it takes, just get me a story."
And so that very night at Foo Bar, the Silicon Valley night spot where I sometimes moonlight as relief bartender for the (news) tips, I heaped raw herring in the peanut dish and waited with mixed feelings—mixed between trepidation and deeper trepidation—to see if the legendary Linux penguin would once again accept my invitation.
At 8:30, he waddled in.
"You're looking well, Tux," I lied as he climbed awkwardly onto a stool and sagged into a fair imitation of a deflated soccer ball.
"I am not. I'm a little pale," he snapped, plunging a fin into the peanut dish. "I think I've got Mono." He jabbed me in the ribs with the other fin. "Get it? Mono?"
"I got it," I said, rubbing the jabbed spot. "Miguel de Icaza's Open Source take on .NET. Speaking of Open Source, what's your take on the controversy over Version 3 of the GNU Public License?"
"You're not really chewing that kelp, are you? There's no story there."
I'd never heard the expression "chewing that kelp" before, but I got the idea. "You think there will be satisfactory compromises in the language of the license?"
"Everybody'll adapt, then they'll adopt. Eventually. Like water runs down a drain. Like all Windows users will eventually pony up to Microsoft for Vista. Like Verizon will eventually kiss Steve Jobs's ring. No, the real story isn't GPL whatever; it's all the advances in the Linux desktop market this year."
"Really?"
"You don't have to sound so skeptical. Look at all the new drivers and codecs and the improvements in printing technology and technology to take advantage of new graphics cards. Those under-the-snow tweaks really position desktop Linux for a landslide this year. And we're seeing Linux preinstalled in new machines more and more, especially from Lenovo. Plus new apps—"
"Okay, okay, I get it that you're bullish on desktop Linux. And I guess you're considerably more sanguine about GPL3 than Linus is."
He reached across the bar with surprising speed and grabbed my by the collar. "Don't mention that Finnish gnome in my presence again. I do all the work, commuting all over the world promoting an operating system named after that slacker while he hides out up there in Oregon or some such primitive backwater sitting on his butt and swilling microbrews and taking all the credit. Speaking of which, can't you give me something to wash this down? What kind of bar are you running here? And remember, don't mention him again."
"I won't mention him again." I slid a Steelhead Amber across the bar. "How was the herring?"
"It was all right," he admitted grudgingly. "Shall I regurgitate some for you?"
"Maybe another time. So there's a lot of travel in your work?"
"Jeez, do you ever think before you talk? I live in the Southern Hemisphere, kid. In case you haven't noticed, very few of the big Linux sites are located in Antarctica or Tierra del freaking Fuego. You haven't experienced jetlag until you've had the longitudinal variety. The time doesn't just change, the seasons do."
"I suppose you have to pack multiple wardrobes."
"Watch it, kid. One tuxedo joke and I'm outta here."
I tried not to show how much that thought warmed my heart. "Any thoughts on the Microsoft-Novell deal or Oracle's move on Red Hat?"
"Old krill. That stuff only serves to legitimize Linux. But I want to correct something I said. There is one big Southern Hemisphere market for Linux among the BRIC countries. Brazil."
"Brick countries?"
"Brazil, Russia, India, and China, dummy, the big market opportunities of the 21st century. And three of them are gonna be huge, because you humans breed like cod."
Whereupon he burped emphatically and waddled out the door, leaving me to ponder how I was going to spin this into anything the boss would accept.
Michael Swaine
Editor-at-Large
